He Knows

9

Hulk knows...

Wolverine knows...

How about you?
Are you getting your present shopping done?

You wouldn't want to piss off you-know-who...

He knows if you've been shopping...

page art by Sal Buscema, Tom Morgan and Pop Mhan from Marvel Holiday Special 1992 & 1994 and Santa The Barbarian #1 (1992, 1994, 1996)

Now, Somewhere In The Black Holes Of Sirius Major...

It took Bill Mantlo about six years to decide how and when to bring the world's favorite raccoon back from oblivion after Wayfinder ended up in limbo.
When he did, Rocky was already upstaging the big stars...

Rocky was retooled and brought into the main Marvel universe through one of those very strange periods in the Hulk's history when he's off in other weird worlds. It's been openly acknowledged that Rocket was inspired by John Lennon's pet raccoon and his song in various interviews. But in case you had any doubts, let's enjoy his colour debut with the appropriate background music. A song that opens with the line...

And, indeed, Hulk Smash with great efficiency. In almost no time...

...and while not afraid, they've got better things to do than waste their time with Keystone Cops. (Kids - google it) So, it's off to their ship, where Rocket shows how much he understands the Hulk...

Strange images which tell an odd tale of HalfWorld - Half barren and roboticized, half garden paradise. There is, unsurprisingly, trouble brewing between the two halves...

You see the otter in green?
Her name was Magill and she called herself Lil, but everyone knew her as Lylla.

Rocket manages to persuade the Hulk to come along, and soon they find the wreckage left behind by the Black Bunny Brigade's attack...

Pyko claims that Gideon's Bible is purely gibberish, but Jakes isn't buying it. Before they can do anything else, word comes in that Rocket Raccoon and company have arrived in local space...

And, shortly thereafter...

Yes, folks. It's the '80s and Killer Klowns From Outer Space are a thing.
But not for long...

And that's it for Hulk - he's outa here.
While making his offer and sending Hulk back home, Pyko makes it very clear that he can read and comprehend Gideon's Bible, but has no intention of letting it disrupt life in the Keystone Quadrant.
But Rocket's story continues...

35 years later, we've seen a lot of "someday"s. Rocket's story grew more elaborate as the chance was presented to explore further, and before too long he was out in the galaxy at large. But those are a pile of other stories. And we all know where he ended up.
Hollywood.

How many of you think that next tale is a Harlan Ellison homage/parody/shout-out?

pages by Bill Mantlo, Sal Buscema & company for The Incredible Hulk #271 (1982)